


Shit, maybe I miss Lou

by whatmakeslarrybeautiful



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Christmas Fluff, Crying, Crying Harry, Emotional Hurt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Here we go, Hiatus era, Hurt/Comfort, Just a drabble, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, basically Harry misses louis, harry - Freeform, larry - Freeform, louis - Freeform, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 16:58:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatmakeslarrybeautiful/pseuds/whatmakeslarrybeautiful
Summary: Louis apparently could hear the labored breathing that he was trying hard to contain, as the hesitant question came through the line, nearly a whisper.'Haz, are you...are you crying?'Harry held his breath for a second even as he felt another hot tear run down his cheek. He was feeling increasingly silly for being this upset; he was supposed to be used to this by now.'Nope.'A short pause followed before he heard Louis sigh. 'Babe. Don't think you can hide it from me. I can tell that you are. What's going on love?'Nights spent away from each other are hard, and winter nights spend away from each other just days before Christmas is hard, but just maybe a Christmas miracle can happen, and maybe they're meant to be each other's biggest gifts.





	Shit, maybe I miss Lou

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are, late night Drabble writing turned into a full sorta emotional sorta fluff one shot. It's been a year since I even wrote anything, so I'm definitely rusty, so bear with me. Fair warning of typos because I might've skipped over possible mistakes oops :)

Busy cities were pretty at night, you could say. Rows upon rows of glittering lights as far as you could see. Nights were pretty. It was also cold; snow was here and gently falling, and it was only going to get worse, as per weather reports. But for now, it just made the view look prettier, and Harry sighed, breath hitting the window and fogging it up momentarily. Pretty night, pretty view, yet it had an odd way of making him feel small, lonely.

He had attended his goddaughter Ruby's party, and it was lovely; being around friends, old and new, chatting to unfamiliar faces, spending time with the baby. But even amidst the chatter and bubbling happiness of the party, there was something missing, something off. Someone, rather. Louis.

Harry sipped at his third glass of wine, resting his head against the glass, the picture of the city in front of him going blurry as he got lost in his thoughts. Louis' absence by his side, although not a strange thing, was making itself known very loudly today. Maybe it was because he realized he was missing the one person to share the lovely evening with, when everyone around seemed to fit right in with each other. Or perhaps it was because it had been more than a few days since he last saw Louis. Work demands; and Harry was used to being away from Louis.

Which was why it made no sense for his sudden sadness, or the sinking feeling that caught him unaware. He missed Louis. And he wished he was here right now, instead of having to sip wine alone by the window. Wine, not because he was being classy, but because he had to be at the studio next morning, and he had no plans of getting drunk. Just a little, just enough to make him a little sleepy, so he could fall asleep quicker rather than letting the growing emptiness keep him up.

Except that wasn't happening either. Harry huffed in frustration, pacing the room briefly, before plopping down into his bed. He tugged at his hair a bit, blinking rapidly. Telltale signs of crying. Before he could even tell what was going on, his eyes had welled up with tears, and he drew in on himself. Stupid. He was being stupid. They had done this a hundred times; so why was he being such a baby over it? It had only been few days, so why couldn't he stand missing Louis this time?

Even through blurry eyes, he checked his personal phone; it was a little past midnight. And the tears he had valiantly been trying to hold back slipped through as he looked at his lockscreen; a picture of him and Louis from when they had gone on their fifth little vacation to Jamaica. Where the sun was bright, and Louis was brighter, a constant little ball of energy and happiness next to him. _Fuck I miss him._

Harry was acutely aware of time ticking, of the tears silently running down his cheeks, of his harsh breaths as he tried to calm down, but in vain. Everything seemed so loud yet deafeningly quiet all at once. This feeling of something that was ripped out from him; he hated it. Which was why, despite hating the idea of bothering Louis with his silly thoughts, he found himself dialing Louis' number.

He waited, finger hovering over the call button. Louis could be sleeping. Even if he was awake, he didn't want to worry him. But he didn't think he could sleep, not without at least talking to Louis for a little. He had always had this way of putting Harry at ease.

After taking a minute to somewhat get his breathing under control, he pressed call, and brought the phone up to his ear, head resting on his folded knees. And waited with bated breath as he waited for Louis to pick up. It didn't take long; Louis picked up the call on the fourth ring.

'Haz! Hi baby,' his voice was soft, thick with sleep, like maybe he had been sleeping. Harry instantly felt something heavy drop to the pits of his stomach; unusual guilt.

Gulping, and hoping he sounded normal, Harry quietly asked, 'Hi Lou. Were you sleeping?'

A yawn was heard from the other side, further making him feel like shit. 'Not really love. I had a feeling you'd call, so I was just waiting to see if you would; was gonna call you if you didn't. I dozed off a little though.'

Harry shivered, both from the relief of getting to hear Louis' voice, as well as from the effort of trying to hold back his crying. 'Sorry babe, didn't mean to wake you up,' he said, a mere whisper, half scared he'd be unable to stop the shakiness of his voice otherwise.

Louis was quick to reassure him. 'No. No, don't worry about that darling, it's alright.' He paused. 'Why are you whispering Haz?'

Harry blinked furiously, tears welling up quicker now. Louis could always see right through him, and being on the other side of the world wasn't going to change that. He knew him like the back of his hand. He tried to discretely take in deep breaths, coughing a bit to clear his throat.

'Nothing,' he managed to answer, as he wiped at a tear roughly, fingers digging into his thighs, and chest feeling like it was trying to collapse in on itself. Breathing normally was a challenge, and suddenly he wasn't sure calling Louis while trying to hide the fact that he was crying was a good idea, because he surely couldn't keep that from him for too long, not with how messy he sounded just trying to breathe and keep sobs in at the same time.

Louis apparently could hear the labored breathing that he was trying hard to contain, as the hesitant question came through the line, nearly a whisper.

'Haz, are you...are you crying?'

Harry held his breath for a second even as he felt another hot tear run down his cheek. He was feeling increasingly silly for being this upset; he was supposed to be used to this by now.

'Nope.'

A short pause followed before he heard Louis sigh. 'Babe. Don't think you can hide it from me. I can tell that you are. What's going on love?'

Harry pulled the phone away from him a bit as he desperately tried to take in enough air to be able to sound somewhat normal, and then mumbled as quietly and nonchalantly as possible, given his choked up throat, 'Nothing Lou, I swear.'

He could practically see Louis on the other side in deep thought. It was a minute before Louis finally said, 'okay, if you're sure Haz.'

More silence. More silence as Harry struggled to keep his crying discrete, under control. He was mainly failing, but Louis didn't need to know that. But as the seconds ticked on, and as the silence dragged, he cracked. He knew exactly what Louis was doing, and Louis knew what he was doing too.

'I just miss you,' Harry choked out, voice cracking the tiniest bit.

'But I'm here right now baby,' Louis said, quick to reassure. Despite the current sinking feeling in his chest, he had to smile a little at that.

'No I. I've missed you,' Harry tried again, not knowing how to explain why, out of nowhere he had felt particularly alone that night as he had looked out at the wide snow covered distance. Emotions were weird; who gave them the right to just come out of nowhere?

'Oh sweetheart. I've missed you too. It's been hard innit?'

And that was all it took for him to break and start crying harder, pressing his face into the pillow as he let Louis' soft voice mumble sweet reassuring things to him. He could tell he was distressed too, voice sounding a bit watery even through the phone, and he hated himself for even being such a baby over nothing and bothering him when he knew Louis would worry incessantly because he couldn't be right next to him.

'Hey, none of that love. You're not bothering me at all Haz, I wish you'd have called sooner, if you were feeling this bad. I've got all the time for darling, you know that.'

Apparently he had said that out loud. He had calmed down a bit, heart feeling less heavy; both from crying his eyes out, and from simply listening to Louis. Louis always had that effect on him.

'Was doing fine Lou, was okay. I think. Dunno when it turned bad,' he said, sitting up a bit, drawing in deep breaths.

Louis hummed. 'You sound a bit drowsy love. Are you sleepy or did you drink a little?'

That wasn't a question Harry was expecting; how did Louis know that? Sheepishly, he replied, 'Both. A little of both.'

'Harold. I can't imagine that made it better now, did it? Gotten ourselves into a right fix, haven't we?' Louis voice was firm; and he knew that it wasn't out of displeasure but out of concern. Harry still felt bad, a little.

' 'm sorry Lou.'

'You've got nothing to apologize for baby. I'm just a little concerned-"

"I'm-"

"Don't, Harry, don't say sorry,' Louis interrupted him before he could even get the words out, 'I just wish I was there next to you right now.'

Harry felt his eyes prickle again and he blinked resolutely. 'Me too babe,' he sighed wistfully. He was going to go home to Louis in a few days anyways, they were going to spend Christmas together with their families, but even few days seemed like months to him.

'Real soon H, you'll be home with me really soon. Just few more days baby. Few more days till I can steal your new sweaters, few more days till Ernie and Doris put little ribbons and glitter in your hair and turn you into their own human Christmas tree'

Harry laughed warmly at that; he missed them all so much, and Louis was right; he'd be home with them all soon. 'Did they do that to you too?'

He could hear the mischief in Louis' voice when he answered, 'Nope. I bribed them with cookies and promised them that when you got here, they could glitter you up all they want, and they seemed excited at that plan.'

Harry gasped, but it was fondly. 'You did not!'

'I did. I'm also gonna help them with it, being the responsible, helping adult that I am,' Louis said lightly, amusement coloring his voice.

'Louis William Tomlinson, how dare you! You suck,' Harry huffed dramatically, happy smile replacing the tears that had dried on his cheeks.

'Yeah yeah, you love me.'

'Hmm, debatable,' Harry muttered, slumping against the pillow, feeling lighter than he did ten minutes ago.

'What did you say?' Louis asked sharply, and Harry grinned wider, picking up on their banter.

'I said I do love you,' he replied, and he could hear shuffling on the other end, which meant Louis was probably settling into bed.

'Mhmm that's what I thought.'

'Ass.'

'Twat.' Harry laughed, warmth seeping through his bones. He loved Louis so much and the force of it never ceased to surprise him.

'I love you,' he mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He wrapped an arm around the pillow next to him, nuzzling into it.

'I love you too, H. You should get some sleep, you're tired,' Louis replied, sounding every bit as tired as he felt too.

'I'm not sleepy,' Harry protested just as he yawned, and they both giggled drowsily.

'Sure babe, I believe you. Now go sleep.' Harry briefly pouted, despite knowing that Louis was being reasonable.

'Fineee. G'night Lou,' he sighed, already forgetting why he was even sad in the first place, when he had Louis even when they weren't by each other's side.

'Goodnight Haz.' Harry barely registered the line cutting off, both sleep and content taking over him quickly.

\----------------------

The next morning was.....draining, to say the least. Harry only stepped back into his house by evening, dragging his feet and wearily pushing his curls away from his face. He sighed in relief as the warmth of his living room washed over him, a reprieve from the biting cold outside. The day had gone by surrounded by producers and writers as he sat down and worked on a song with them. Rewarding, but draining. He couldn't wait to just get into comfortable clothes and drink something warm.

And that's exactly what he did too. Harry quickly changed into a sweater and sweatpants, hot cocoa already in the making, and mind set on baking some banana oat muffins, because baking was something that always helped him to unwind after a long or busy day. Christmas tunes were softly playing in the background, and within minutes, a small smile was playing on his lips as he hummed along, and shuffled around the kitchen in little dance moves as he went about his baking.

He was so lost in his little bubble of Christmas carol sing-along and the sweet smell of muffins, that he startled when his doorbell rang. He halted mid move, brows furrowing in confusion. He wasn't expecting any guests today, and no one here really visited him without prior plans, so who could it be?

Trying to both dust the flour off his hands as well as fluff up his curls, he went to the door, frowning when he couldn't see through the peephole to check who it was. He frowned deeper; what if it was a burglar?

 _'Don't be silly you literally live in a gated, protected house, and as if a burglar would just come up and ring the bell_ ,' he immediately thought, taking a second to mentally facepalm at his ridiculous thought. Curiously, he pulled the door open a bit to see who it was, and.

He stared, jaw dropping in shock. He stared some more, still through the tiny space of the half open door.

'Harold I know I look great and all, but are you just gonna stand there all day or are you gonna let me in?'

Harry blinked, mind too slow to catch up with the fact that Louis was standing outside his door, little snowflakes caught in his beanie and hair, and just whispered in confusion, 'Louis?'

'The one and only. Now let me in Harry, it's fuckin freezing outside and I can't feel me nose,' Louis said, small smile creeping onto his lips, 'unless you don't want me here? Thought you missed me, hmm?'

Harry finally seemed to be able to break out of his trance, and he pulled Louis into a bone crushing hug, body curling low so that there wasn't an inch of space between them. He breathed in deeply, feeling Louis' fingertips dig into his back slightly, and it was as if the tiredness of the day melted away, leaving just love that felt like warm honey in his heart, and a warmer boy that he loved in his arms. _It finally felt like home_.

'Of course I missed you, you little shit,' Harry said into Louis' shoulder, squeezing him tighter for a second before pulling away a bit to look at him properly. Louis' eyes were bright, smile impossibly soft, tip of his nose still a bit pink from the cold, and he still had his arms loosely wrapped around Harry's neck. He was beautiful and Harry would never stop being in awe.

'It's why I'm here innit? Because you missed me, and I missed you too, Haz,' Louis said. Harry frowned.

'But. But how? I didn't even think you'd be able to make it here, the flights are probably fully booked, and this shitty weather is gonna last at least a few more days, so how??'

Louis' grin grew wider. 'Wanted to surprise you.'

'But how-'

'Guess you can call it a Christmas miracle yeah?'

Harry rolled his eyes fondly at him. 'It's not even Christmas yet, Louis.'

Louis slapped his shoulder playfully. 'Don't kill my Christmas spirit Harold. It's basically Christmas the second December started, so I'm calling it a Christmas miracle anyways,' he said, teasing.

'You're a miracle,' he replied to that, not even caring that it was cheesy. Louis groaned, but the way his gaze softened even more and his fond chuckle gave him away.

'You're a sap.'

'Mhmm, maybe, but only cause I love you,' Harry said quietly before he captured Louis' lips in a bruising kiss, hand cupping his jaw and holding him close, because he had _missed_ him, had missed being able to hold him, kiss him, and actually see him properly and not through the grainy videos of FaceTime. Sure it had been only like, two weeks, and after all these years, he was used to often having to be in different places, but sometimes more than the others, it gets hard.

Louis broke off, out of breath a bit. 'What was that for?' He asked, peering up at Harry, who was smiling so wide it hurt a little.

'Nothing. I'm just happy that you're here.'

'I can see that,' Louis laughed, poking a dimple, and Harry batted his hands away, making sure the front door was shut, and then walking into the kitchen, knowing that Louis would follow.

'Hmmm, what is that, it smells amazing!' Louis was quick to comment the second he walked in. Harry pulled the muffins out of the oven- just in time too- and turned to smile at him.

'Caramelized banana oat muffins.'

Louis came closer, sniffing the air and hooking his chin over his shoulder. 'That's lovely. Did you like, somehow know I'm coming or something?'

'These aren't for you,' Harry joked, laughing when Louis pouted at him exaggeratedly, 'but you can have them. I decided to bake a bit because, well, long day,' he shrugged a little.

Louis looked around, spotting his phone playing Christmas tunes lowly, and then looked back at him dressed in his coziest clothes, and then nodded meaningfully.

'Well then I came at good timing eh?' He briefly squeezed Harry's hip gently, before reaching towards the muffins Harry was still holding in his mitten covered hands.

'They're hot, Lou! You'll burn your hands. And your mouth,' Harry hissed, batting his hand away and this time, Louis pouted for real.

'So what am I supposed to do about that, Harry?'

'We are gonna wait for it to cool a bit, that's what we'll do,' Harry replied, setting the muffins aside to cool. Louis huffed.

'Fine, but what do we do till then?'

Harry hummed in thought. 'Well. We can go watch whatever's on the the tv, and drink the hot cocoa as we wait?'

Louis seemed happy at that idea. 'Alright but I get to pick what to watch.'

Harry expected nothing else. 'Of course babe, go ahead, I'll join you in a minute, let me just quickly clean up.'

Louis nodded, kissed his cheek swiftly, and went to the living room, leaving Harry to smile like a fool as he went about cleaning the kitchen. Few minutes later, he could hear noise coming from the room, and he went out, two mugs of hot cocoa in his hands.

'You better drink this quickly, it's already gone just warm enough to still taste good,' Harry commented as he sat down next to him and handed him a mug. Louis took it gratefully, letting him cuddle into his side, one arm around his shoulders. Harry sighed happily, making Louis look down at him, chocolate froth lining his lip. He giggled, wiping it away.

'Happy?' Louis asked, soft in a way he was only around him. Harry smiled, cuddling impossibly closer, resting his head on Louis' chest. Nothing beat the feeling of being at home.

'Happy.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
